The Bug in my Shirt

Family and Friends …

A while back I told you that my diabetes number had gone up three times in nine months. Well, on Friday, I got the results of a fourth blood draw in a year. My hemoglobin A1C number went from 7.7 to 6.6. That is really just about the best news I’ve gotten in a while.

Anything over 7.0 is consider diabetes territory, but more importantly, the odds of bad things happen go up a lot the higher over 7.0 you go. And, thankfully, the odds for bad things goes down dramatically when you are in the 6.6 and below range.

I’ve really concentrated on my diet and upped the exercise. I weighed in on Friday at one pound less than when I did my marathon in 2007.

Anywho …

The other day I was riding my new bike and I was a little mad. The back tire needed air; it felt like the tire was made out of silly putty and it was moving side-to-side on this bumpy trail. Plus, it was really hot out, so I unzipped my cycling shirt to let in some cool air, but instead something fell out of a tree into my shirt.

I didn’t know what it was at first.

But then it started moving.

It was some sort of bug.

But before I could say or do anything … CHOMP! … This little varmit took a big honking bite out of my right pectoral. OUCH!

I said, “Ouch” and few, other colorful words as I continued to pedal, holding on with my left hand while trying to shoo this bug out of my shirt with my right. I didn’t do a very good job because now that bug was at about the top of my abs, when … CHOMP!

That little fucker just bit the shit out of me again. I’m picturing some sort of crustacean with some lobster-like pincers. These bites hurt and now I’m all itchy.

But I’m still riding my bike one handed, going over bumps and my back tire is sliding side-to-side. Why I didn’t just stop is beyond me. Now I am furiously trying to get this bug out of my shirt. I’m close. He’s at the bottom of my belly, just a little bit more and he’s … CHOMP!

OH MY GOD! He bit me again. And if he goes any further south, he’s going to be gnawing on my schnutz.

So I put both hands on the handlebars and stretch my hands to reach these completely inaccessible road bike brakes and slam on the brakes. Now remember that this bike is practically brand new, so slamming on practically brand new brakes causes the bike to stop … IMMEDIATELY. The front brake stopped on a dime and the entire rest of the bike continued forward down the path.

In other words, my rear wheel nearly smashed me in the back of the head.

I lifted my shirt and frantically swiped my chest and belly about six or seven hundred times.

And the moral to the story is … always fill up your tires before you ride and never unzip your jersey no matter how hot it is.

Thank you.

Please support my Tour de Cure ride here.

Here is an artist’s rendering of the bug in my shirt …

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