Dot.Com Refugee #6: Thank God for Rosemary

August 28, 2001


“My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.”
— Gerald R. Ford, the 38th President of the United States

On Monday, Rosemary Snyder, my wife, was offered and accepted the position of Senior Director of Member Services for U.S. Figure Skating, headquartered in Colorado Springs.

This new position is one of four senior level positions within Figure Skating. Rose will supervise nine staff members and create programs designed to educate and recruit new members and clubs to the sport. Her staff is also responsible for registering all individual and club memberships directly through the office here in the Springs.

Currently, Figure Skating has a membership of 144,000 athletes and 550 clubs. Expect those numbers to grow, “if ya smell what The Rose is cookin’.”

She interviewed on Friday and the very next business day it was a done deal. It doesn’t always work that way … at least not in my experience. I’ve had companies wait three months after an interview before telling me, “We’ve decided to go a different direction.”

Rose will begin her duties on Sept. 24. The Figure Skating building is just one block from the world-class, five-star Broadmoor Hotel and Resort. I’m very happy for Rosemary. The people at Figure Skating really recognize and value her abilities. And as always, she will do a great job.

Meanwhile, I’m happy to announce that I have recently completed painting our garage floor … two coats of Hunter Green.

I’m not bitter, jealous, depressed or anything. I mean, sure, I’ve been looking for working now for, well, for exactly eight months as of today. I’ve applied for about 130 jobs and had about a dozen interviews. Rose hits the lottery with her very first interview … they practically offered her the job during the interview. But I’m not feeling like some sort of loser. Why focus on the negative?

“I’m a cautionary tale. This jacket I’m wearing. Do you like it? Because I don’t really need it.  Because I’m cloaked in failure.”
— Jerry McGuire (Tom Cruise) to Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding, Jr.), after losing the number one draft pick the night before the draft.


Jerry McGuire was released in the U.S. on Dec. 13, 1996. I met and carried on a conversation with Cuba Gooding in April of 1996 in an Atlanta hotel. He was in Atlanta for a convention honoring the Tuskegee Airman and I was at the Olympic Media Summit.

Fortunately, Rose isn’t the kind of person to rub something like this in. She’s not a gloater. After all, it’s not a competition. All of the money goes into the same account, pays for the same bills. She did, however, snatch my cell phone out of my hands and threw it into her purse.

“Well, I guess you’re not going to be needing that anymore,” she said.


On August 16th — the 24th anniversary of The King’s death — I took time out of my busy day to secure an additional e-mail address to honor the man who rocked the world. My new e-mail is …

I encourage everyone stop by your neighborhood video store and pick up any one of these SnydeRemarks’ Recommended Elvis Presley movie classics: 3. Kid Galahad, 2. King Creole and 1. Loving You, my personal favorite.

“I’m the king of the jungle, they call me the tiger man”
— Elvis Presley


I did have an interview on Aug. 17 at the Olympic Training Center that, I think, went well. But you never know. I’ve had interviews in the past that I thought had gone well. What will people talking about tater-tot hot dish and all.

“I’ve got one foot in the door, the other one’s in the gutter.”
— The Replacements

You never know which way these things might go and now that Rose has a job and I don’t have to have a job to, you know, literally feed the family, I’m ready for anything. I’d like the job and want the job and I know I’d be good at it, but I won’t be crushed if I don’t get it.

I can be a house husband. What a great way to end this whole job search saga. I know how to make scrambled eggs. I can pick up the house. I can drive the kids around. Plus, daytime TV is very educational. Dr. Phil — that dude on Oprah — he’s a genius when it comes to fixing relationships.


According to Oprah’s Dr. Phil, men are pigs and are the number one cause of marital strife and relationship problems. Who knew?


Yesterday, I got an e-mail from the Vice President of Communications for Sports Illustrated, the Magazine. His name is Art Berke and for years he was kind enough to think of me during the Holidays by sending me an SI Swimsuit Daily Calendar. I applied for the SI PR Director job a couple weeks ago and dropped Art a quick note. He responded by telling me that I was over qualified. I think I’m going to have that particular e-mail mounted and framed.

He wrote, “It’s obvious you have a very impressive background. As of now I’m looking for someone junior to your experience level.”

I met with the Pikes Peak United Way today. Consulting work. I dazzled them with the breadth of my internet knowledge. As I’ve mentioned, Audrius is the PPUW’s Vice President of Strategic Initiatives. He’s having some difficulty making the transition to working an eight-hour day. The afternoon nap has been constantly beckoning him, even though there is a Pikes Perk and Starbucks about 10 feet from his new downtown office.


Our neighbor expressed concern over our financial situation because Rose and I held our first garage sale this past Saturday. “Why are you having a garage sale,” she asked. I thought, “Oh, I don’t know why, why does anyone have a garage sale? Let’s see, we’ve just cleaned our garage and found some seldom used sports equipment, never used china and flatware. Plus, our kids are getting older and we have a lot of baby and toddler clothes and toys.

“There might be one other reason … hmmmmmm, let me think … what could it be … oh, wait, now I remember … we’ve been without a fucking paycheck for eight fucking months! Why don’t you try going eight months without a fucking job and see how many fucking garage sales you have, idiot!”

Of course, I said that to myself.

Any who, I wrote a press release, previewing the sale and sent it to my friends locally. From what I’ve heard, the release was considered quite comical and was forwarded to people far and wide. Special thanks to Jeanie Bray and Audrius for braving the threatening weather and stopping by the sale to support us.

Well, here it is, the funny garage sale press release in its entirety. Now that Rose has a job, I think we will retire from the garage sale game. It’s a tough racket.

That’s all for now. I hope this finds you well. Happy Birthday to my brother, Jon, who proves each day that a country boy can survive.

And thank God for Rosemary.




COLORADO SPRINGS — A Village Seven-area couple has raided their children’s toy boxes and closets for a blow-out “garage sale” for this Saturday only.

“I’m sure the kids will miss some of their favorite belongings, but I really have to have my morning Starbucks,” said Charlie Snyder, the unemployed father of three.

The sale doesn’t actually include the garage, said Snyder, “unless someone makes a really attractive offer.”

Snyder noted that the two-car garage features a recently painted floor.

“If people aren’t interested in buying anything, they can still stop by and see our garage floor. I put on two coats of Hunter Green. I have a lot of time on my hands, being unemployed and all.”

Snyder and his wife, Rose, were once “well-to-do” both holding down high paying jobs in the Olympic Movement. In February of 2000, Rose retired to raise the couple’s three young children: Carli Rose (6), Gina Maria (3) and Sam Andrew (2). That December Mr. Snyder was laid off by an ill-conceived, start-up

“In hindsight, I don’t know why Rose quit her job,” said Snyder, “Other people were raising our kids just fine. But hindsight is always 20/20.”

The sale is Saturday, August 25, from 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. Since the family was, at one point, well-to-do, the price-to-sell items are name-brand, high quality merchandise, including baby and toddler clothes galore, toys, sports equipment (like-new 10-speed, basketball backboard, hoop and brand-new net), flatware, dishes, and Christmas china.

“We can’t afford Christmas this year,” said Snyder, “so I see little need for a meal served on festive dishes.”

The sale also includes items for the do-it-yourselfers.

“We are selling three electric fans that we have broken and/or have unexplainably stopped working,” said Snyder. “The cords are worth a quarter.”

In conjunction with the garage sale, Carli Snyder will be operating a lemonade stand. Special sets of “free cookies” are offered with each glass of lemonade purchased.


Dot.Com Refugee #7: Hired

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